It's been a few days

What a horrendous, horrible, rotten, no-good week! 

I had two high pressure meetings at work this week - one on Monday and one on Tuesday.  After the Tuesday meeting, I was completely spent.  Emotional energy was at an all-time low. When I came home on Tuesday, I asked My Love if we could take Wednesday morning off.  I had shared the details of the meeting with him by cell on my way home (don't worry - I have a hands free system!).  He agreed that made a lot of sense.

But...that's led us into a weird space.  Taking Wednesday off led to taking Thursday off and to a half-assed maintenance session on Friday.  Now we're in a funk.  We just finished talking about where we go from here.  We both see the benefits of the first week, and we both noticed a big change on Wednesday and Thursday.  At the same time, we're both clear that taking Wednesday off made a lot of sense.  Thursday?  Well, neither of us can decide if that was a good idea or not.

I really appreciate My Love's willingness to help me grow and change and also to have a voice in the tricky times.  We're both clear that right before a punishment is absolutely not a time when I can ask for reprieve, yet asking to take Wednesday off from training because of the intensity at work on both Monday and Tuesday made a lot of sense to both of us.  That request was not motivated by my behavior or trying to get out of a spanking, it was based on emotional energy levels and circumstances of life outside the bedroom.

We also talked about rules and whether there might be too many of them right now.  For example, sometimes I am late because it is just the nature of my work and my job tasks.  Perhaps those times of tardiness are ok, while other times are not.  It's a constant process of reflection, communication, and consideration.

We are trying to give this lifestyle the ole college try again starting on Monday with the weekly weigh in.  The rules will likely take another edit, too (we review them each Monday).  Sigh...it would be so nice if life was black and white and clear cut sometimes.  At the same time, it'd be pretty boring.