When we began DD, we agreed that we wouldn't do weekends because our sons are not aware of our DD arrangement and they are home on the weekends. My HoH has expressed that he feels strange spanking me when they are home and that he is worried that even if a quiet implment was used, the boys might come into our room during a spanking. So yesterday when I was late to an appointment, I knew I'd be in trouble but thought I'd have to wait until Monday to be punished.
Well, much to my absolute surprise this morning, He decided NOT to have this weekend off. :(
He woke me up at 7 and told me to get out the implements and lay over the ottoman. Not only did I get a pretty severe spanking, he used the plank (a piece of outdoor treated lumber) and who knows what else. I can assure you it wasn't quiet! After about five or so nonstop minutes of hard swats and lots of lecturing, he then announced, "After each swat, you will say, 'I will endeavor to be on time.'". The swats were harder and there must have been about 20-30 of them.
Both before and after the spanking, He left the door open to our bedroom while I was expected to remain still. Thank God the kids didn't wake up and see me like that! Afterward, I was told to go make coffee and to tend to the pets. (normally, he does this).
It's been two hours since that spanking and my bottom still hurts SO much - He even covered the sides pretty thoroughly so laying on my sides hurts too. A part of me feels like sobbing but the other part of seems to be holding on tightly to stubborn self control and a "you won't make me cry" attitude. Of course, I'm not about to say any of this to him aloud!
I need some advice from those of you who have been at this longer - After today's spanking, I feel like I'm right on the tipping point of fuller submission. I know that's a good thing, but there's a part of me that is feeling pretty pouty and even like I don't want to be around Him because I've been punished so much. It feels pretty childish and I don't like that feeling. Help!
I personally would tell him how you feel. I know that with my Sir it would mean I would probably get spanked again (which obviously you don't want) but my Sir wouldn't stop until I did cry. It wasn't until he spanked me to tears that I finally had my AHA moment. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI personally would tell him how you feel. I know that with my Sir it would mean I would probably get spanked again (which obviously you don't want) but my Sir wouldn't stop until I did cry. It wasn't until he spanked me to tears that I finally had my AHA moment. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI have felt a lot of these same feelings! I think you need to give in and understand that you belong to him and that you deserved the punishment. I have to do that a lot, being new to the lifestyle, but it works really well for me!
ReplyDeleteYou have to love him for taking the time to discipline you. Don't allow yourself to feel like you, "don't want to be around him." Those feelings will do much more harm than good in your relationship.
Remember that he only punishes you because he loves you :)
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