Saturday, February 19, 2011

Whew! What a week!

This week has been busy, busy, busy. Add to that a sick kid and my own body fighting off the bug and the blog has gone by the wayside.

Monday brought more than a training spanking...I was punished for forgetting my meds on Sunday and for almost crossing the line during a tricky conversation with a coworker. I asked to be given a reminder spanking for the conversation because I came so close and had another meeting on Monday with the same person. To really drive the point home, I was told to soap my mouth during my shower, too.

Tuesday, one of the kids was home from school, so I lucked out and didn't weigh in or get spanked, When Wednesday came, I weighed in and had no weight loss for the week. That, of course, meant 25 hard swats along with a warm up. My Love told me that if i do not make weight next Tuesday, he will decide what i do and do not eat for the following week That combined with the rest of his words made the experience one of the most effective spankings and lectures I have ever had.

Then Thursday, I had the best training spanking ever - complete with an effective lecture. By 5pm, though, I was in bed battling a bug. I still felt crummy on Friday and so we skipped maintenance.

Next Friday, I have a laser appointment so we are not doing spankings all week. I'm a little worried how that will play out. He has promised alternative punishments and had me order a set of butt plugs last week (that haven't arrived yet!). Should be an interesting week...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Ineffective Crop Effectively Sticks With Me

Some days have passed since my in-a-funk post about that damn crop.  I have to admit now that I did indeed deserve that punishment and that it was effective in at least one way:  the soreness stuck with me for two days.  That lingering discomfort is always a great reminder to behave!

I came home with the beginnings of a migraine on Wednesday night and it raged throughout the night.  By morning, it was still lingering.  My Love kindly decided that a training spanking was not necessary given my aching head.  He did insist, though, that I go to the gym with him and work out.  I didn't want to, but I respected his instructions.

I had to leave early on Friday morning for a work commitment, so maintenance was scrapped this week. I'm sure Monday will bring a training spanking.  In the past, when we've missed a few days in a row, we seem to get into a funk.  I'm hopeful that doesn't happen this time.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Protective Cat, An Annoying Implement, and Other Thoughts

It's been awhile since I've posted.  Until this morning, things have been pretty uneventful.

Most of last week ended up being non-spanking due to school cancellations for the kids.  Friday was maintenance, but it was pretty half-hearted and non-eventful.  I made it through all the snow days and the weekend without doing anything worthy of punishment...I guess I'm at least learning something.  Monday of this week came along without anything exciting - I had to be at work early that day so training wasn't held. 

Tuesday was weigh in day - down 1.4 lbs!!!  That meant no spanking related to weight.  However, I did receive a pretty extensive training spanking.  At the beginning of my spanking, as I lay on the bed, my cat curled up atop my legs.  I think she was trying to intervene!  The dog has now learned that if I head to my closet door for corner time, he prefers to get lost and not stick around in the room to watch the events!  Thank Goodness the cat at least sticks around and does what she can to help.

My Love mentioned that my sit spots looked a little bruised, which surprised me.  Those would have to be pretty old bruises.  Maybe, I hoped, it would tenderize his swats.  No such luck.  I'm not sure if it was because it's been awhile or because of the implements chosen or because of how He used them - regardless of the reason, it sure seemed like more than a training session to me.  I didn't really "appreciate" that (more on that later).  He used the dreaded riding crop - I'm not sure how to explain that tortuous device.  At the time of use, it hurts like hell, stings, leaves welts, and smacks down hard (especially at the tip where there is a little piece of leather all flattened). All that stated, I'm not sure it is "effective."  Beyond that, I'm struggling for words...the only way I can explain it is that it is annoying.  As a comparison, the cane was effective.  When we used one (before He broke ours inadvertently), it hurt, left welts, stung, got the point across, etc.  But it was also effective.  The's annoying.  And, no, I'm not simply trying to get out of it being used.  I'm really struggling with this whole thing.

Strangely enough, even with the annoying crop and all the wooden stingers used, I was surprised that the discomfort didn't stay with me throughout the day - at the time, the swats were certainly sufficient to cause a lingering effect.  Once someone has been at this awhile, does the lingering lessen?  It just doesn't make sense - the session itself was likely more severe than the previous ones that did have lingering effects.  I don't get it.

Then this morning came.  The day brought sunshine and a spanking.  Yesterday, after training, He asked me put the box of implements away.  I said I would as soon as I fed my fish (I'm pretty addicted to the iPad/iPod game Tapfish).  He was ok with that at the time (or at least seemed to be), but then I forgot to put the box away.  When I got home last night, the box was in my walk in closet but not where it is normally stored.  I was pretty sure this morning would bring a warming surprise.  I forgot one other time and I do know better, so this whole event just amps the ante on the annoyance factor.  Yes, I know I need to do what I'm told.  Yes, I know that not putting the box away could lead to the curious children finding it and asking about it.  Yes, I f-ed up.  Again.  Grr.  So this morning, out came the box and over the ottoman I went.

Here's what doesn't make sense, though.  The session was pretty severe and hurt like hell.  The stinging and pain bordered on more than I can bear.  I absolutely could not stay in position or stay still due to the stinging and the pain.  This most certainly wasn't a case of "not getting punished enough," yet at the end of it, I was more annoyed than penitent.  Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself for doing something (or rather, not doing something) so stupid and easy.  Maybe the honeymoon phase on our new lifestyle is wearing thin.  I've found myself lately honestly wondering if this makes sense for us and for me. Our deal is that we will do DD until I reach my goal weight (about 17 lbs to go), but I really have a sense of ick toward the whole thing right now. It's not just because I was just punished - I've been wondering this for a few days.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Today was a bit of a relief

Tuesdays are weigh in days and I was down .8 pounds. While ideally I would have been down a full pound (that is the weekly goal), at least being just .2 pounds off means only 5 swats. My Love warmed me up a bit (I think he thought five swats might not be enough!) and then administered five hard and fast swats with the belt. I was glad that was it - my bottom has been through enough lately.

We are experiencing heavy snows, so I stayed put and worked from home today. Doing so enabled me to accompany My Love to the grocery store. It's been so long since I have done full on grocery shopping that it was hard to stay focused and not explore every option and possibility! I intentionally, though, let Him lead the way through the store and asked before I put anything in the cart. It was great to experience this new level of being a submissive wife.

I am finding submission to be such a journey, and I am yearning to submit ever more fully day by day. Each day provides its ups and downs with my commitment and desire to submit. Even so, I can't imagine ever going back to our old ways. I am seeing positive changes in myself and in our marriage and I am so thankful for it all.