This Thursday and Friday

I just viewed the blog and saw that there was no update about, "Note that in your journal..."

Well, I got off easy on that. I received a warning and a training spanking on Thursday. Phew.

Friday was maintenance day. My Love has most definitely gotten the hang of maintenance! I was spanked while laying over the ottoman and OTK. He used his hand, the glue stick, the bat, and the damn brush. I once again came so close to tears. It's like I get right to the edge of tears and then pull it together. Sigh.

I also received punishment on Friday for a messy desk and for not filling out my journal. Those swats came with me resting my forearms on the bed and bending over for the swats. They were pretty dang hard, but I think most of that is because my bum is so sore from all the spankings this week. It seemed like everything stung too.

Emotionally, I was really wishing we weren't practicing DD during Friday's spanking and I really wanted to beg him to stop. One of our rules is that I only speak when spoken to during punishments, so I tried not to speak. I seem to be entering into a new emotional space with all this lately - It's like I'm beginning to wrestle with the reality that I have chosen not to choose and consented not to be able to consent. While I know that's part of the journey, a little part of me is bubbling up and getting feisty (quietly feisty anyway) about it.

After my spankings on Friday (each session was separated by corner time), I just wanted to lay down. Instead, I was instructed to get in the shower and get ready. I really didn't want to do that, but I knew better than to question Him or disobey. Then, once I was ready, he surprised me by taking me out to breakfast. A nice treat!

Later in the day, I had an appointment out of town. On my way back, I stopped to check my email on my iPod at a place where there was wireless. I lost track of time and ended up late to my next appointment. When I arrived there, I mentioned that I needed to cut our time short so I wouldn't be late to pick up the kids from school. The other person promised to watch the time, so I didn't. Well, as you might guess, I ended up having to call My Love and ask him to pick up the kids. My call ended up interrupting Him in the middle of something and He was not at all pleased.

Once I got home, he shared his displeasure and disappointment. I expressed that I really wished I didn't have to wait until Monday for punishment. He flatly said, "Me either. I'm pretty mad about the whole thing."