Monday was a back-to-the-routine day. This having to take days off just doesn't work for us, and Monday was just plain rotten, awkward, and hostile. Yuck.
There were a few times during the week last week that I probably got a little too sassy. Then there was Friday morning when He woke me up and requested I service him so to speak. I obliged while being pretty ticked internally. Friday was the first day I had been able to sleep in since the previous Saturday and, man, I love my sleep! Then after a few minutes, he told me to climb on top of him. I threw a bit of a fit and exclaimed, "Come on! Really?!". He replied, "Yes, really." And I said, "I don't think so. I haven't been able to sleep in for a week, it's 6 am and I have to get up early tomorrow. This is unreasonable." He asked me to roll over and we spooned instead, but I knew he was angry with me even though he didn't really say anything at the time. And I was pretty damn furious that I had been woken up. I had been in a work seminar all week, and the entire week had been incredibly emotionally and physically exhausting and intense. I was spent.
So, anyway, back to Monday...
He sent me upstairs Monday morning and I knew we were resuming DD and that I was going to be spanked. He had me go over his knee and it became obvious pretty quickly that it wasn't going well. I was a little....ummm....surly. I had real issues with the punishment he was planning and beginning to carry out and I was so angry. It seemed so unfair. I did not protest physically, though, and whenever he asked me a question, I dutifully answered but was clear that I thought it was unfair and/or that I felt like we should talk about it before the punishment happened. He finally decided we could talk about it but made me state my case while over his knee! That just ticked me off more.
After about ten minutes, we had a pretty good conversation and things relaxed. He saw my point and understood when I expressed that we had agreed to take last week off but then it seemed like some parts of our arrangement hadn't been put on hiatus. I was so befuddled. I had also asked him three times last week if we could clarify his expectations for the week, but we never had the conversation. I really was not trying to get out of a punishment - this was about being held to unclear standards. We finally talked everything out, but he expressed some exasperation and said, "I'm not sure I will ever do this lifestyle right." He was frustrated too - with himself, with me, with my behavior, but mostly with how we had messed up the week and the morning.
After a pretty tame training spanking, I eventually asked for the crop (my absolute least favorite implement!) because I felt like we both needed to give a little and that he had been a bit too willing to give in. It made a big difference especially for him and his mindset, I think. It hurt like hell.
This morning, I weighed in and I had lost a full pound. We were back to confusion - should I have lost two pounds since I hadn't weighed in last week or did weight loss not figure in last week either? He expressed that he really didn't know what to do. I asked if I could make a suggestion. He said that was fine. I suggested fifteen swats with the cane, which was half as many as I would have received if weight loss had been expected last week. He thought that was reasonable. I went over the ottoman and he swung the cane HARD! It was very adequate punishment. But near the end, the brand new cane split in two! It was the first time we had even used it. He finished off with it anyway and then I was expected to get ready for work.
My back end is pretty dang sore today!
Showing posts with label Punishments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Punishments. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A Protective Cat, An Annoying Implement, and Other Thoughts
It's been awhile since I've posted. Until this morning, things have been pretty uneventful.
Most of last week ended up being non-spanking due to school cancellations for the kids. Friday was maintenance, but it was pretty half-hearted and non-eventful. I made it through all the snow days and the weekend without doing anything worthy of punishment...I guess I'm at least learning something. Monday of this week came along without anything exciting - I had to be at work early that day so training wasn't held.
Tuesday was weigh in day - down 1.4 lbs!!! That meant no spanking related to weight. However, I did receive a pretty extensive training spanking. At the beginning of my spanking, as I lay on the bed, my cat curled up atop my legs. I think she was trying to intervene! The dog has now learned that if I head to my closet door for corner time, he prefers to get lost and not stick around in the room to watch the events! Thank Goodness the cat at least sticks around and does what she can to help.
My Love mentioned that my sit spots looked a little bruised, which surprised me. Those would have to be pretty old bruises. Maybe, I hoped, it would tenderize his swats. No such luck. I'm not sure if it was because it's been awhile or because of the implements chosen or because of how He used them - regardless of the reason, it sure seemed like more than a training session to me. I didn't really "appreciate" that (more on that later). He used the dreaded riding crop - I'm not sure how to explain that tortuous device. At the time of use, it hurts like hell, stings, leaves welts, and smacks down hard (especially at the tip where there is a little piece of leather all flattened). All that stated, I'm not sure it is "effective." Beyond that, I'm struggling for words...the only way I can explain it is that it is annoying. As a comparison, the cane was effective. When we used one (before He broke ours inadvertently), it hurt, left welts, stung, got the point across, etc. But it was also effective. The crop...it's annoying. And, no, I'm not simply trying to get out of it being used. I'm really struggling with this whole thing.
Strangely enough, even with the annoying crop and all the wooden stingers used, I was surprised that the discomfort didn't stay with me throughout the day - at the time, the swats were certainly sufficient to cause a lingering effect. Once someone has been at this awhile, does the lingering lessen? It just doesn't make sense - the session itself was likely more severe than the previous ones that did have lingering effects. I don't get it.
Then this morning came. The day brought sunshine and a spanking. Yesterday, after training, He asked me put the box of implements away. I said I would as soon as I fed my fish (I'm pretty addicted to the iPad/iPod game Tapfish). He was ok with that at the time (or at least seemed to be), but then I forgot to put the box away. When I got home last night, the box was in my walk in closet but not where it is normally stored. I was pretty sure this morning would bring a warming surprise. I forgot one other time and I do know better, so this whole event just amps the ante on the annoyance factor. Yes, I know I need to do what I'm told. Yes, I know that not putting the box away could lead to the curious children finding it and asking about it. Yes, I f-ed up. Again. Grr. So this morning, out came the box and over the ottoman I went.
Here's what doesn't make sense, though. The session was pretty severe and hurt like hell. The stinging and pain bordered on more than I can bear. I absolutely could not stay in position or stay still due to the stinging and the pain. This most certainly wasn't a case of "not getting punished enough," yet at the end of it, I was more annoyed than penitent. Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself for doing something (or rather, not doing something) so stupid and easy. Maybe the honeymoon phase on our new lifestyle is wearing thin. I've found myself lately honestly wondering if this makes sense for us and for me. Our deal is that we will do DD until I reach my goal weight (about 17 lbs to go), but I really have a sense of ick toward the whole thing right now. It's not just because I was just punished - I've been wondering this for a few days.
Most of last week ended up being non-spanking due to school cancellations for the kids. Friday was maintenance, but it was pretty half-hearted and non-eventful. I made it through all the snow days and the weekend without doing anything worthy of punishment...I guess I'm at least learning something. Monday of this week came along without anything exciting - I had to be at work early that day so training wasn't held.
Tuesday was weigh in day - down 1.4 lbs!!! That meant no spanking related to weight. However, I did receive a pretty extensive training spanking. At the beginning of my spanking, as I lay on the bed, my cat curled up atop my legs. I think she was trying to intervene! The dog has now learned that if I head to my closet door for corner time, he prefers to get lost and not stick around in the room to watch the events! Thank Goodness the cat at least sticks around and does what she can to help.
My Love mentioned that my sit spots looked a little bruised, which surprised me. Those would have to be pretty old bruises. Maybe, I hoped, it would tenderize his swats. No such luck. I'm not sure if it was because it's been awhile or because of the implements chosen or because of how He used them - regardless of the reason, it sure seemed like more than a training session to me. I didn't really "appreciate" that (more on that later). He used the dreaded riding crop - I'm not sure how to explain that tortuous device. At the time of use, it hurts like hell, stings, leaves welts, and smacks down hard (especially at the tip where there is a little piece of leather all flattened). All that stated, I'm not sure it is "effective." Beyond that, I'm struggling for words...the only way I can explain it is that it is annoying. As a comparison, the cane was effective. When we used one (before He broke ours inadvertently), it hurt, left welts, stung, got the point across, etc. But it was also effective. The crop...it's annoying. And, no, I'm not simply trying to get out of it being used. I'm really struggling with this whole thing.
Strangely enough, even with the annoying crop and all the wooden stingers used, I was surprised that the discomfort didn't stay with me throughout the day - at the time, the swats were certainly sufficient to cause a lingering effect. Once someone has been at this awhile, does the lingering lessen? It just doesn't make sense - the session itself was likely more severe than the previous ones that did have lingering effects. I don't get it.
Then this morning came. The day brought sunshine and a spanking. Yesterday, after training, He asked me put the box of implements away. I said I would as soon as I fed my fish (I'm pretty addicted to the iPad/iPod game Tapfish). He was ok with that at the time (or at least seemed to be), but then I forgot to put the box away. When I got home last night, the box was in my walk in closet but not where it is normally stored. I was pretty sure this morning would bring a warming surprise. I forgot one other time and I do know better, so this whole event just amps the ante on the annoyance factor. Yes, I know I need to do what I'm told. Yes, I know that not putting the box away could lead to the curious children finding it and asking about it. Yes, I f-ed up. Again. Grr. So this morning, out came the box and over the ottoman I went.
Here's what doesn't make sense, though. The session was pretty severe and hurt like hell. The stinging and pain bordered on more than I can bear. I absolutely could not stay in position or stay still due to the stinging and the pain. This most certainly wasn't a case of "not getting punished enough," yet at the end of it, I was more annoyed than penitent. Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself for doing something (or rather, not doing something) so stupid and easy. Maybe the honeymoon phase on our new lifestyle is wearing thin. I've found myself lately honestly wondering if this makes sense for us and for me. Our deal is that we will do DD until I reach my goal weight (about 17 lbs to go), but I really have a sense of ick toward the whole thing right now. It's not just because I was just punished - I've been wondering this for a few days.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wwwwwhhhhaaaaahhht?!?!
When we began DD, we agreed that we wouldn't do weekends because our sons are not aware of our DD arrangement and they are home on the weekends. My HoH has expressed that he feels strange spanking me when they are home and that he is worried that even if a quiet implment was used, the boys might come into our room during a spanking. So yesterday when I was late to an appointment, I knew I'd be in trouble but thought I'd have to wait until Monday to be punished.
Well, much to my absolute surprise this morning, He decided NOT to have this weekend off. :(
He woke me up at 7 and told me to get out the implements and lay over the ottoman. Not only did I get a pretty severe spanking, he used the plank (a piece of outdoor treated lumber) and who knows what else. I can assure you it wasn't quiet! After about five or so nonstop minutes of hard swats and lots of lecturing, he then announced, "After each swat, you will say, 'I will endeavor to be on time.'". The swats were harder and there must have been about 20-30 of them.
Both before and after the spanking, He left the door open to our bedroom while I was expected to remain still. Thank God the kids didn't wake up and see me like that! Afterward, I was told to go make coffee and to tend to the pets. (normally, he does this).
It's been two hours since that spanking and my bottom still hurts SO much - He even covered the sides pretty thoroughly so laying on my sides hurts too. A part of me feels like sobbing but the other part of seems to be holding on tightly to stubborn self control and a "you won't make me cry" attitude. Of course, I'm not about to say any of this to him aloud!
I need some advice from those of you who have been at this longer - After today's spanking, I feel like I'm right on the tipping point of fuller submission. I know that's a good thing, but there's a part of me that is feeling pretty pouty and even like I don't want to be around Him because I've been punished so much. It feels pretty childish and I don't like that feeling. Help!
Well, much to my absolute surprise this morning, He decided NOT to have this weekend off. :(
He woke me up at 7 and told me to get out the implements and lay over the ottoman. Not only did I get a pretty severe spanking, he used the plank (a piece of outdoor treated lumber) and who knows what else. I can assure you it wasn't quiet! After about five or so nonstop minutes of hard swats and lots of lecturing, he then announced, "After each swat, you will say, 'I will endeavor to be on time.'". The swats were harder and there must have been about 20-30 of them.
Both before and after the spanking, He left the door open to our bedroom while I was expected to remain still. Thank God the kids didn't wake up and see me like that! Afterward, I was told to go make coffee and to tend to the pets. (normally, he does this).
It's been two hours since that spanking and my bottom still hurts SO much - He even covered the sides pretty thoroughly so laying on my sides hurts too. A part of me feels like sobbing but the other part of seems to be holding on tightly to stubborn self control and a "you won't make me cry" attitude. Of course, I'm not about to say any of this to him aloud!
I need some advice from those of you who have been at this longer - After today's spanking, I feel like I'm right on the tipping point of fuller submission. I know that's a good thing, but there's a part of me that is feeling pretty pouty and even like I don't want to be around Him because I've been punished so much. It feels pretty childish and I don't like that feeling. Help!
Friday, January 28, 2011
This Thursday and Friday
I just viewed the blog and saw that there was no update about, "Note that in your journal..."
Well, I got off easy on that. I received a warning and a training spanking on Thursday. Phew.
Friday was maintenance day. My Love has most definitely gotten the hang of maintenance! I was spanked while laying over the ottoman and OTK. He used his hand, the glue stick, the bat, and the damn brush. I once again came so close to tears. It's like I get right to the edge of tears and then pull it together. Sigh.
I also received punishment on Friday for a messy desk and for not filling out my journal. Those swats came with me resting my forearms on the bed and bending over for the swats. They were pretty dang hard, but I think most of that is because my bum is so sore from all the spankings this week. It seemed like everything stung too.
Emotionally, I was really wishing we weren't practicing DD during Friday's spanking and I really wanted to beg him to stop. One of our rules is that I only speak when spoken to during punishments, so I tried not to speak. I seem to be entering into a new emotional space with all this lately - It's like I'm beginning to wrestle with the reality that I have chosen not to choose and consented not to be able to consent. While I know that's part of the journey, a little part of me is bubbling up and getting feisty (quietly feisty anyway) about it.
After my spankings on Friday (each session was separated by corner time), I just wanted to lay down. Instead, I was instructed to get in the shower and get ready. I really didn't want to do that, but I knew better than to question Him or disobey. Then, once I was ready, he surprised me by taking me out to breakfast. A nice treat!
Later in the day, I had an appointment out of town. On my way back, I stopped to check my email on my iPod at a place where there was wireless. I lost track of time and ended up late to my next appointment. When I arrived there, I mentioned that I needed to cut our time short so I wouldn't be late to pick up the kids from school. The other person promised to watch the time, so I didn't. Well, as you might guess, I ended up having to call My Love and ask him to pick up the kids. My call ended up interrupting Him in the middle of something and He was not at all pleased.
Once I got home, he shared his displeasure and disappointment. I expressed that I really wished I didn't have to wait until Monday for punishment. He flatly said, "Me either. I'm pretty mad about the whole thing."
Well, I got off easy on that. I received a warning and a training spanking on Thursday. Phew.
Friday was maintenance day. My Love has most definitely gotten the hang of maintenance! I was spanked while laying over the ottoman and OTK. He used his hand, the glue stick, the bat, and the damn brush. I once again came so close to tears. It's like I get right to the edge of tears and then pull it together. Sigh.
I also received punishment on Friday for a messy desk and for not filling out my journal. Those swats came with me resting my forearms on the bed and bending over for the swats. They were pretty dang hard, but I think most of that is because my bum is so sore from all the spankings this week. It seemed like everything stung too.
Emotionally, I was really wishing we weren't practicing DD during Friday's spanking and I really wanted to beg him to stop. One of our rules is that I only speak when spoken to during punishments, so I tried not to speak. I seem to be entering into a new emotional space with all this lately - It's like I'm beginning to wrestle with the reality that I have chosen not to choose and consented not to be able to consent. While I know that's part of the journey, a little part of me is bubbling up and getting feisty (quietly feisty anyway) about it.
After my spankings on Friday (each session was separated by corner time), I just wanted to lay down. Instead, I was instructed to get in the shower and get ready. I really didn't want to do that, but I knew better than to question Him or disobey. Then, once I was ready, he surprised me by taking me out to breakfast. A nice treat!
Later in the day, I had an appointment out of town. On my way back, I stopped to check my email on my iPod at a place where there was wireless. I lost track of time and ended up late to my next appointment. When I arrived there, I mentioned that I needed to cut our time short so I wouldn't be late to pick up the kids from school. The other person promised to watch the time, so I didn't. Well, as you might guess, I ended up having to call My Love and ask him to pick up the kids. My call ended up interrupting Him in the middle of something and He was not at all pleased.
Once I got home, he shared his displeasure and disappointment. I expressed that I really wished I didn't have to wait until Monday for punishment. He flatly said, "Me either. I'm pretty mad about the whole thing."
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Why Don't I Just Stop Talking When I'm Ahead?!
Today, I received a 15-20 minute "training" spanking OTK that seemed pretty dang severe and painful. At the end, for some stupid reason, I said, "I didn't think I was being punished today, just trained." My HoH just grinned and said, "Go get ready." I should have counted my lucky stars, shut my mouth, and claimed the luck that was indeed mine! But, no...that would be far too simple.
When I came back in the bedroom after my shower, He said, "Hey, I'm really sorry if that was too hard but, you know, it wouldn't have hurt so much if you hadn't been getting so many punishments lately." Very, very true. It's been a painful week. [As an aside, after Monday's multi-punishment extravaganza, I got 25 stinging and hard swats with the belt yesterday for not losing any weight last week.]
Then....open mouth, insert foot...I said, "Yeah, I shouldn't have questioned you. I'm sorry." One would think this was a wise response, right? Well...
He replied, "You know what? You are right. Make a note of that disobedience in your journal and we'll address it tomorrow morning."
Sigh.
When I came back in the bedroom after my shower, He said, "Hey, I'm really sorry if that was too hard but, you know, it wouldn't have hurt so much if you hadn't been getting so many punishments lately." Very, very true. It's been a painful week. [As an aside, after Monday's multi-punishment extravaganza, I got 25 stinging and hard swats with the belt yesterday for not losing any weight last week.]
Then....open mouth, insert foot...I said, "Yeah, I shouldn't have questioned you. I'm sorry." One would think this was a wise response, right? Well...
He replied, "You know what? You are right. Make a note of that disobedience in your journal and we'll address it tomorrow morning."
Sigh.
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Broken Cane is Something to Smile About!
Shortly after I wrote my last post, He came upstairs. I casually wandered into the other room to pet the cat - even though I knew there was no escaping spanking #3! He followed me into the other room a few minutes later and said, "C'mon. Get in there and pull down your pants."
Now I don't know why this is the case, but there is something especially humiliating about having to pull my pants down to my knees and get a spanking. It seems to affect me more emotionally than being naked for a spanking. So there I was, pants down to the knees with my already red bottom bared. He told me to lay over the ottoman and brace myself. I knew it was going to be bad - it was another spanking for not working out (one session for each of the two times I neglected to work out last week) and the last one had been pretty severe.
He started with a few uncounted minutes with the cane and lectured me about the opportunities I did indeed have to work out last week. He also mentioned that I would be expected to provide him with a copy of this week's schedule showing when I would schedule my FOUR workouts this week (I am usually expected to workout 3 times a week). The lecture continued with His commentary about how He did not appreciate me copping an attitude about "since I already knew I was going to get a spanking for not working out, I wasn't very motivated to work out on Sunday." I had said this to him earlier in the day (did I mention this in my last post? My bottom hurts too much for my mind to keep track of those kinds of details!). Then he commenced with 30 counted strokes with the cane for not working out. Afterward, I hugged him and thanked him as is expected.
But, we weren't done yet. Because I copped an attitude, I was put back over the ottoman and given 15 hard swats with the plank. OUCH! I most certainly feel sufficiently punished (and I'm on my way to the gym after I post this).
I was left in position for a few minutes, and He began to put the implements away during that time. I have to admit that as I lay there with my warm, sore bottom glowing, I smiled to myself when HoH went to put the cane away and accidentally snapped it in two! Goodbye nasty cane!
Now I don't know why this is the case, but there is something especially humiliating about having to pull my pants down to my knees and get a spanking. It seems to affect me more emotionally than being naked for a spanking. So there I was, pants down to the knees with my already red bottom bared. He told me to lay over the ottoman and brace myself. I knew it was going to be bad - it was another spanking for not working out (one session for each of the two times I neglected to work out last week) and the last one had been pretty severe.
He started with a few uncounted minutes with the cane and lectured me about the opportunities I did indeed have to work out last week. He also mentioned that I would be expected to provide him with a copy of this week's schedule showing when I would schedule my FOUR workouts this week (I am usually expected to workout 3 times a week). The lecture continued with His commentary about how He did not appreciate me copping an attitude about "since I already knew I was going to get a spanking for not working out, I wasn't very motivated to work out on Sunday." I had said this to him earlier in the day (did I mention this in my last post? My bottom hurts too much for my mind to keep track of those kinds of details!). Then he commenced with 30 counted strokes with the cane for not working out. Afterward, I hugged him and thanked him as is expected.
But, we weren't done yet. Because I copped an attitude, I was put back over the ottoman and given 15 hard swats with the plank. OUCH! I most certainly feel sufficiently punished (and I'm on my way to the gym after I post this).
I was left in position for a few minutes, and He began to put the implements away during that time. I have to admit that as I lay there with my warm, sore bottom glowing, I smiled to myself when HoH went to put the cane away and accidentally snapped it in two! Goodbye nasty cane!
And It's Not Over Yet...
This morning's weigh in was SO disappointing - up a pound! I lucked out and Sir has moved weigh in day to Tuesday, so I can hope for a drastic change in the next 24 hours. Mondays seem to have become a consistent punishment day (we don't usually do spankings on the weekends), so moving weigh ins to another day makes sense.
My punishments for other infractions started this morning at about 7:50am with me in the corner. First, I was given about 10-15 minutes worth of swats with the hairbrush OTK because I didn't take my meds until about 4pm last Friday (I'm supposed to take them by 9am each day). For some weird reason, the stinging increased dramatically the last half of the session. I actually thought He had changed implements, but he hadn't. I was then sent back to the corner and stayed there quite awhile. He walked out of the room, and I heard him go to the linen closet and then to the bathroom. I thought He was preparing a mouthsoaping for me! When he came back to the room, his demand for me to do something else came as a welcome surprise. Afterward, I was told to get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast.
After breakfast and some casual conversation, I was sent back upstairs and back to the closet door (my "corner"). Then He told me to lay on the bed with pillows under my bottom (if I'm going to be spanked, this is the best position IMO). Oh my, did I get punished! He started with the belt and continued for quite awhile. Then, He moved on to the plank and I was instructed to count each swat...all the way to 30! All hard. All stinging. Some way too closely after the last one. And, then, you guessed it...back to the closet door.
I have another similar session coming sometime later this morning for the same type of infraction: not working out at least 3 times last week. I only worked out once last week. At the end of the second session, as I was giving him our customary post-spanking hug and thanking him for my punishment, I dared to ask if it was for both missed workouts. "No," he said, "you have another punishment coming later for the other missed workout."
Sigh. I've already got one sore bottom and He's not done yet. I said something to him a few minutes ago about how I thought he was preparing a mouthsoaping earlier and about how I didn't work out yesterday because I already knew I was going to be punished for not working out. He responded, "Hmm...well, you wouldn't be receiving the punishment you're getting later today if you had worked out yesterday. Maybe you can think about that during the upcoming spanking."
My punishments for other infractions started this morning at about 7:50am with me in the corner. First, I was given about 10-15 minutes worth of swats with the hairbrush OTK because I didn't take my meds until about 4pm last Friday (I'm supposed to take them by 9am each day). For some weird reason, the stinging increased dramatically the last half of the session. I actually thought He had changed implements, but he hadn't. I was then sent back to the corner and stayed there quite awhile. He walked out of the room, and I heard him go to the linen closet and then to the bathroom. I thought He was preparing a mouthsoaping for me! When he came back to the room, his demand for me to do something else came as a welcome surprise. Afterward, I was told to get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast.
After breakfast and some casual conversation, I was sent back upstairs and back to the closet door (my "corner"). Then He told me to lay on the bed with pillows under my bottom (if I'm going to be spanked, this is the best position IMO). Oh my, did I get punished! He started with the belt and continued for quite awhile. Then, He moved on to the plank and I was instructed to count each swat...all the way to 30! All hard. All stinging. Some way too closely after the last one. And, then, you guessed it...back to the closet door.
I have another similar session coming sometime later this morning for the same type of infraction: not working out at least 3 times last week. I only worked out once last week. At the end of the second session, as I was giving him our customary post-spanking hug and thanking him for my punishment, I dared to ask if it was for both missed workouts. "No," he said, "you have another punishment coming later for the other missed workout."
Sigh. I've already got one sore bottom and He's not done yet. I said something to him a few minutes ago about how I thought he was preparing a mouthsoaping earlier and about how I didn't work out yesterday because I already knew I was going to be punished for not working out. He responded, "Hmm...well, you wouldn't be receiving the punishment you're getting later today if you had worked out yesterday. Maybe you can think about that during the upcoming spanking."
Sunday, January 23, 2011
A Busy Week and My Big Mouth
Tuesday brought along its own surprise this week. Although I was spanked on Monday for gossip and other infractions, I received ANOTHER spanking with the brush for about 15-20 minutes on Tuesday. When we began the spanking, I thought it was a training spanking. Then it kept going and going and going, and it got harder and harder and harder! I was pretty shocked by the whole experience.
After my corner time, Sir expects a thank you and hug. As I was in his arms, he said, "How do you feel?" I replied pretty weakly, "I hurt." "Gossip hurts," he responded flatly. Then the experience made sense - I was punished again for the same infraction. I'm clear that this one is a biggie and that the punishments for gossip will be severe and multiple. After the brief hug, He pulled away and said, "Now go get ready for your day." My little heart sank...no intimate moments afterward, no cuddling. The feeling of the punishment lingered even more strongly through the day.
But, somehow, my stupid mouth got the better of me just one day later. I did not have a training spanking on Wednesday due to an early morning appointment. Then later in the day, I ended up in a conversation with someone at work and dammit! I crossed the line again. I called Sir on my way home and explained the situation. He said that I indeed had crossed the line and would be punished. "I am disappointed that we're facing punishment for the same issue so soon," he said.
We had already discussed that there would be no training spankings on Thursday and Friday due to my attendance at a conference. However, He texted me on Thursday and shared an assignment. If I could not be spanked, I would still be punished. I was to write 100 lines of a long sentence he composed, an apology letter to the woman I spoke about, and another apology letter to the woman I spoke to. Then on Friday, He woke me up earlier than I had planned to get up, and He spanked me for 5-7 minutes with the cane. No warm ups beforehand and no niceties afterward. As he sent me to the shower to get ready for my day, I was also instructed to put soap in my mouth during my shower. That taste lingered all day long.
My letters have been turned in, my sentences have been copied, and I also wrote a letter to Him thanking him for the discipline and for his willingness to help me be a better person. I am not exactly sure if my punishment for my big mouth is yet complete. He has not told me one way or the other.
What I do know for sure is that tomorrow will bring more punishment. I did not get to the gym enough times this week. I hope my weigh in is positive; otherwise, I will receive a spanking for that as well. I also need to tell him that while I did take my meds on Friday, I did not do so by 9am as the rules state. Once again, Monday will come and find me with a sore bottom.
Due to all my punishments and to the days we have had to take off, my training is now extended until February 8. After tomorrow's punishment, it will extend to February 9. I could have completed training as of last Friday if I had not been punished during the training period. Training may simply be part of my reality for awhile, I suppose.
After my corner time, Sir expects a thank you and hug. As I was in his arms, he said, "How do you feel?" I replied pretty weakly, "I hurt." "Gossip hurts," he responded flatly. Then the experience made sense - I was punished again for the same infraction. I'm clear that this one is a biggie and that the punishments for gossip will be severe and multiple. After the brief hug, He pulled away and said, "Now go get ready for your day." My little heart sank...no intimate moments afterward, no cuddling. The feeling of the punishment lingered even more strongly through the day.
But, somehow, my stupid mouth got the better of me just one day later. I did not have a training spanking on Wednesday due to an early morning appointment. Then later in the day, I ended up in a conversation with someone at work and dammit! I crossed the line again. I called Sir on my way home and explained the situation. He said that I indeed had crossed the line and would be punished. "I am disappointed that we're facing punishment for the same issue so soon," he said.
We had already discussed that there would be no training spankings on Thursday and Friday due to my attendance at a conference. However, He texted me on Thursday and shared an assignment. If I could not be spanked, I would still be punished. I was to write 100 lines of a long sentence he composed, an apology letter to the woman I spoke about, and another apology letter to the woman I spoke to. Then on Friday, He woke me up earlier than I had planned to get up, and He spanked me for 5-7 minutes with the cane. No warm ups beforehand and no niceties afterward. As he sent me to the shower to get ready for my day, I was also instructed to put soap in my mouth during my shower. That taste lingered all day long.
My letters have been turned in, my sentences have been copied, and I also wrote a letter to Him thanking him for the discipline and for his willingness to help me be a better person. I am not exactly sure if my punishment for my big mouth is yet complete. He has not told me one way or the other.
What I do know for sure is that tomorrow will bring more punishment. I did not get to the gym enough times this week. I hope my weigh in is positive; otherwise, I will receive a spanking for that as well. I also need to tell him that while I did take my meds on Friday, I did not do so by 9am as the rules state. Once again, Monday will come and find me with a sore bottom.
Due to all my punishments and to the days we have had to take off, my training is now extended until February 8. After tomorrow's punishment, it will extend to February 9. I could have completed training as of last Friday if I had not been punished during the training period. Training may simply be part of my reality for awhile, I suppose.
Monday, January 17, 2011
My sore bottom is back in the saddle
Each Monday, we discuss the previous week and review my rules. This morning was a productive conversation. We talked about the being on time rule, and My Husband has loosened the reigns on that a bit when the reason is solid. There are simply times when my work complicates my ability to be on time. If I am goofing off and late, I will get spanked. If I am late due to something outside my control, I might not (I have to report the situation and he will decide). I tried to finagle my way out of the $20 spending rule to no avail. He agreed that I do not have to call him My Love during punishments...it just wasn't working for me, so we are back to Sir. A No Gossip rule was added, and I was punished for it today (more on that below). We also talked about and clarified that I do not get to decide days off, etc., nor do I get to request them like I did last week. I've consensually entered into non-consensual discipline until I reach my goal weight (now 20 pounds away). Once I reach that, we will reassess.Until then, I will submit, end of story.
Perhaps the most interesting parts of our conversation this morning were about other punishments in addition to a spanking and how some rules are a bigger deal than others. We are struggling to find non-spanking additions to our repetoire so that I am crystal clear about His authority. The ideas we discussed were: Capsaicin applied afterward, having my clothes chosen for me, being diapered, writing lines, mouth soaping (especially for gossip), and early bedtime. He isn't sold on the diapering or clothing choice ideas, but I do think they would help. He didn't really express His opinion either way on the others, except to say, "I'll take that under advisement." There's something wonderful about me not knowing which he might choose.
As far as this No Gossip rule goes, it is one I asked for. I will likely be very sore and sorry that it was added because I am a verbal processor who trusts WAY too many people. So often, I will simply want to share my latest challenge with someone. It helps for me to discuss things and hear others' viewpoints. However, last week, I was caught red tongued so-to-speak. This is part of why last Tuesday's meeting was so hellish for me. I had said that I have trouble working with this one person one too many times and somebody repeated what I had said to her. She confronted me on it and my words came back to cause me a lot of problems. I know that I talk to too many people and trust too many people with too much information. This is definitely something I need to work on and something that has been an issue for me for a long, long time. I don't tend to actually talk bad about someone else for the purpose of spreading bad blood, but my mouth gets me into trouble for a lack of discretion far too often simply because I am venting or because I seek out too many people asking for advice on what to do. I am now only allowed to vent or ask for advice from a select group, which will help me stay clear of more delicate situations where I shouldn't be talking about stuff like this.
Monday is my weigh in day. If I haven't lost at least 1 pound, I receive 5-10 swats for every 2/10th of a pound I am over. Luckily, I lost enough weight this week to skip a spanking for that. However, I was punished twice today for other infractions. My bottom is SORE and red and reminding me every minute to be good.
Perhaps the most interesting parts of our conversation this morning were about other punishments in addition to a spanking and how some rules are a bigger deal than others. We are struggling to find non-spanking additions to our repetoire so that I am crystal clear about His authority. The ideas we discussed were: Capsaicin applied afterward, having my clothes chosen for me, being diapered, writing lines, mouth soaping (especially for gossip), and early bedtime. He isn't sold on the diapering or clothing choice ideas, but I do think they would help. He didn't really express His opinion either way on the others, except to say, "I'll take that under advisement." There's something wonderful about me not knowing which he might choose.
As far as this No Gossip rule goes, it is one I asked for. I will likely be very sore and sorry that it was added because I am a verbal processor who trusts WAY too many people. So often, I will simply want to share my latest challenge with someone. It helps for me to discuss things and hear others' viewpoints. However, last week, I was caught red tongued so-to-speak. This is part of why last Tuesday's meeting was so hellish for me. I had said that I have trouble working with this one person one too many times and somebody repeated what I had said to her. She confronted me on it and my words came back to cause me a lot of problems. I know that I talk to too many people and trust too many people with too much information. This is definitely something I need to work on and something that has been an issue for me for a long, long time. I don't tend to actually talk bad about someone else for the purpose of spreading bad blood, but my mouth gets me into trouble for a lack of discretion far too often simply because I am venting or because I seek out too many people asking for advice on what to do. I am now only allowed to vent or ask for advice from a select group, which will help me stay clear of more delicate situations where I shouldn't be talking about stuff like this.
Monday is my weigh in day. If I haven't lost at least 1 pound, I receive 5-10 swats for every 2/10th of a pound I am over. Luckily, I lost enough weight this week to skip a spanking for that. However, I was punished twice today for other infractions. My bottom is SORE and red and reminding me every minute to be good.
- At 10am, I was spanked for leaving water bottles around the house, laundry not being put away, only working out twice last week, and gossip. I had no idea I was being punished for the bottles and the laundry until I was already over His knee! It was a hard spanking and He used the cane, plank, brush, gluestick, and his hand. Afterward, I was put in the corner on my knees for probably about 15 minutes.
- Then at 1pm, I was punished again for gossip (not that I gossiped more...I was given additional punishment for the original time and to break a long-standing habit). That was a YOWSA of a spanking! YIKES! I was expected to lie over the ottoman while he used the belt (new to us), the board and his hand. He spanked me HARD for at least 10 minutes. I was very close to the "I promise to never, ever be naughty again!" point. It was most certainly a punishment. For this punishment, He had me lower my workout pants, fetch and return the implements with my pants around my ankles, and kneel in the corner with them down as well. I'm not sure why, but it was more humiliating to me than being naked (our usual practice for spankings). Somehow, I didn't cry. I wish I could get to the point of tears - I think the release would be so cathartic.
- After the second spanking, we went to workout. When we returned, I also had to help shovel snow this afternoon (usually, My Husband expects the kids to help with this but not me).
- I'm not sure if it's over yet or not. This morning, we talked about other possible non-spanking punishments, so I may also be given an early bedtime, lines, or something else...he hasn't told me yet.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
This Week's Punishments
I have been a naughty girl this week. Two days and two punishments. :(
On Monday, I weighed in and was thrilled to have lost over a pound. That kept me from getting a spanking due to my weight. However, I had been late getting some banking paperwork done on Saturday and had caused us to be late to the gym on Saturday. That ended up causing a sore bottom.
As we began, he started with his hand and a warm up. "Oh crap," I thought, "this probably means he's planning to spank for quite awhile." He hasn't done a warm up since 2003. I then got 20 swats with a paddle. I had to be honest when he asked me if I felt adequately punished...I didn't. BUT I didn't think that would mean receiving 50 counted swats with the brush! Ouchie.
On Tuesday, I was spanked for taking my meds late on Monday. How ironic, eh? I had been spanked on Monday for being late and then I was late again just minutes after the spanking. Argh. On Tuesday, he thought it would be a good idea to introduce the last of our implements, so I received 12 with a riding crop and 14 with a cane along with a number of swats with his hand. The plank has now been replaced as the worst item and the cane now reigns.
On Monday, I weighed in and was thrilled to have lost over a pound. That kept me from getting a spanking due to my weight. However, I had been late getting some banking paperwork done on Saturday and had caused us to be late to the gym on Saturday. That ended up causing a sore bottom.
As we began, he started with his hand and a warm up. "Oh crap," I thought, "this probably means he's planning to spank for quite awhile." He hasn't done a warm up since 2003. I then got 20 swats with a paddle. I had to be honest when he asked me if I felt adequately punished...I didn't. BUT I didn't think that would mean receiving 50 counted swats with the brush! Ouchie.
On Tuesday, I was spanked for taking my meds late on Monday. How ironic, eh? I had been spanked on Monday for being late and then I was late again just minutes after the spanking. Argh. On Tuesday, he thought it would be a good idea to introduce the last of our implements, so I received 12 with a riding crop and 14 with a cane along with a number of swats with his hand. The plank has now been replaced as the worst item and the cane now reigns.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Welcome to Maintenance and to a Swollen, Sore, Red Bottom
Boy, o boy. My 45 minute maintenance session was held today and was followed about an hour later by 4 sharp, strong swats with the plank. The 45 minute session included spanking, corner time, more spanking, and time on the bed lying on my tummy. I came SO close to tears about three times (which is one of our goals of maintenance sessions), but just couldn't quite release fully. When My Love used the belt, I was right on the edge of crying. I was probably only 2-3 swats away from really losing it and then My Love said, "I don't really like the belt...it's too unwieldy." Sigh.
The maintenance session (if I remember it correctly - I have had 3 spankings today and the details are beginning to blur) began with me bending over the end of the bed with my knees bent and feet on the floor. Then My Love spanked me with his hands using varying intensity levels and alternately using one or two hands. He also moved his body from my right to left a few times. My bottom was already pretty sore from the punishment spanking I had received about four hours earlier. My Love also used a new wood remnant that we're calling The Board. It is shorter and wider than the plank and he used it with less force, which was a welcome change. Then...
Little Miss, meet your closet door - your new "corner." Closet door, meet Little Miss. After the fairly extended hand spanking I was sent to the door and was instructed to place my feet shoulder width apart and to place my hands flat against the door at the height of my head. The longer I stood there, the more weary my hands and arms became. While I stood there, I discovered it was more effective if I kept my eyes open (why do I fess up to these insights and offer them to My Love?!), so that is also part of the corner time expectation. While I stood there, naked, I could see My Love reading the print out of my blog posts to date. We had decided prior to maintenance that he will have the password to my email, that I will create a file in my email account for emails I think he may want to see (although he can/will look at whatever else he wants to read), and that he will read my blog posts. It was humiliating to stand there naked and red-bottomed while he read my thoughts and reflections on other spankings. What is it about humiliation and shame that is so darn effective?! I just don't get it but I'm more and more convinced that it is very true.
I was then instructed to put my feet shoulder width apart, bend over and place my hands on top of the Rubbermaid bin that holds all our implements and other DD items. Maintenance was proving to be full of new experiences - two new positions and a new implement in one spanking. This position provided a different set of sensations, probably because my skin was more taut. After being spanked with My Love's hand some more, he alternately used the board as well. Then he tried the belt, which nearly brought me to tears. That experience is described above. He also delivered a series of quick, repetitive swats with both the board and the hand - that also nearly drew me to tears and it was very effective.
At that point, I think My Love must have looked at my bright red bottom and thought I'd had enough. Instead of declaring the maintenance session done, he asked me if I'd had enough. I actually said no. I asked him if I could be put over his knee and he agreed. We also took just a minute or two to discuss what he was saying as he spanked me - some of it was really effective but other words were really ruining the experience. I'm glad he was open to my comments. Normally, I would not dream of commenting or commentating during a spanking, but this time it really seemed to work well.
My Love grabbed a nearby chair and I went over his knees. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the feelings. There I was being spanked (again and again!) with his firm hand, yet it felt very safe and right. I really appreciated the security of being over his knee. It felt like our roles were very clear during this experience and I appreciated being a submissive wife with an authoritative husband. In a way, I did not want to move away from this position. I told him later that it was comforting and connective to be over his knees. We agreed that this position is probably good for maintenance but not for punishments.
After being over his knees, I asked if I could lay on my tummy on the bed. I was so, so, so close to tears but they just did not fall. I had a little tear here and there but not a full on release. After about 10-15 minutes (I'm guessing here...I really have no idea how long it was), I was told to get ready for the gym. We went to the gym with my bottom throbbing a bit and delivering copious amounts of heat during the 1.75 mile, 45 minute workout.
On the way home from the gym, we talked about what maintenance is and should be like. I mentioned that maintenance is an opportunity for me to be reminded why I do not want to break any rules, that I think a slower and more prolonged experience would be effective, and that one or two harsh swats with one or two of the more severe implements at the end would be enough to remind me to behave. Well, I really need to think twice before I just run off at the mouth with all the "great" ideas I have. When we came in the house, My Love looked at me and said, "Get upstairs now." I kind of stumbled in my words and said something about, "Ummm....uhhhh...I thought I was supposed to move the other implements to the Rubbermaid when we got back." He looked seriously at me and said, "That can wait. Get upstairs. Now." Why, especially after all of the punishments I received already, did I think I should try to negotiate?
I went to the bedroom (so far, all spankings have occurred in the bedroom) and he was right behind me. He told me to lower my workout pants and get out the plank. Oh. Crud. Not the plank! I walked into the closet very ashamed with my pants around my ankles. I came out and handed it to him and then bent over as instructed. I received FOUR very hard swats with the plank. My legs kind of broke down with the second, third and fourth swat and My Love sternly reminded me, "Get back in position." During each one, My Love said things like, "So do you want punishments?" "This is what punishments feel like Little Miss." Then I was told to get up and put the implement away.
In addition to the spankings, today's maintenance includes a variety of assignments. Some of the assignments are one-time and others are regular.
Holy Cow. I'm going to be a busy girl. Earlier today, we talked about the possibility of an assigned bedtime during the training period as well - I'm not sure if that is happening or not, so I'd better conclude this and begin the office work I have to do.
The maintenance session (if I remember it correctly - I have had 3 spankings today and the details are beginning to blur) began with me bending over the end of the bed with my knees bent and feet on the floor. Then My Love spanked me with his hands using varying intensity levels and alternately using one or two hands. He also moved his body from my right to left a few times. My bottom was already pretty sore from the punishment spanking I had received about four hours earlier. My Love also used a new wood remnant that we're calling The Board. It is shorter and wider than the plank and he used it with less force, which was a welcome change. Then...
Little Miss, meet your closet door - your new "corner." Closet door, meet Little Miss. After the fairly extended hand spanking I was sent to the door and was instructed to place my feet shoulder width apart and to place my hands flat against the door at the height of my head. The longer I stood there, the more weary my hands and arms became. While I stood there, I discovered it was more effective if I kept my eyes open (why do I fess up to these insights and offer them to My Love?!), so that is also part of the corner time expectation. While I stood there, naked, I could see My Love reading the print out of my blog posts to date. We had decided prior to maintenance that he will have the password to my email, that I will create a file in my email account for emails I think he may want to see (although he can/will look at whatever else he wants to read), and that he will read my blog posts. It was humiliating to stand there naked and red-bottomed while he read my thoughts and reflections on other spankings. What is it about humiliation and shame that is so darn effective?! I just don't get it but I'm more and more convinced that it is very true.
I was then instructed to put my feet shoulder width apart, bend over and place my hands on top of the Rubbermaid bin that holds all our implements and other DD items. Maintenance was proving to be full of new experiences - two new positions and a new implement in one spanking. This position provided a different set of sensations, probably because my skin was more taut. After being spanked with My Love's hand some more, he alternately used the board as well. Then he tried the belt, which nearly brought me to tears. That experience is described above. He also delivered a series of quick, repetitive swats with both the board and the hand - that also nearly drew me to tears and it was very effective.
At that point, I think My Love must have looked at my bright red bottom and thought I'd had enough. Instead of declaring the maintenance session done, he asked me if I'd had enough. I actually said no. I asked him if I could be put over his knee and he agreed. We also took just a minute or two to discuss what he was saying as he spanked me - some of it was really effective but other words were really ruining the experience. I'm glad he was open to my comments. Normally, I would not dream of commenting or commentating during a spanking, but this time it really seemed to work well.
My Love grabbed a nearby chair and I went over his knees. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the feelings. There I was being spanked (again and again!) with his firm hand, yet it felt very safe and right. I really appreciated the security of being over his knee. It felt like our roles were very clear during this experience and I appreciated being a submissive wife with an authoritative husband. In a way, I did not want to move away from this position. I told him later that it was comforting and connective to be over his knees. We agreed that this position is probably good for maintenance but not for punishments.
After being over his knees, I asked if I could lay on my tummy on the bed. I was so, so, so close to tears but they just did not fall. I had a little tear here and there but not a full on release. After about 10-15 minutes (I'm guessing here...I really have no idea how long it was), I was told to get ready for the gym. We went to the gym with my bottom throbbing a bit and delivering copious amounts of heat during the 1.75 mile, 45 minute workout.
On the way home from the gym, we talked about what maintenance is and should be like. I mentioned that maintenance is an opportunity for me to be reminded why I do not want to break any rules, that I think a slower and more prolonged experience would be effective, and that one or two harsh swats with one or two of the more severe implements at the end would be enough to remind me to behave. Well, I really need to think twice before I just run off at the mouth with all the "great" ideas I have. When we came in the house, My Love looked at me and said, "Get upstairs now." I kind of stumbled in my words and said something about, "Ummm....uhhhh...I thought I was supposed to move the other implements to the Rubbermaid when we got back." He looked seriously at me and said, "That can wait. Get upstairs. Now." Why, especially after all of the punishments I received already, did I think I should try to negotiate?
I went to the bedroom (so far, all spankings have occurred in the bedroom) and he was right behind me. He told me to lower my workout pants and get out the plank. Oh. Crud. Not the plank! I walked into the closet very ashamed with my pants around my ankles. I came out and handed it to him and then bent over as instructed. I received FOUR very hard swats with the plank. My legs kind of broke down with the second, third and fourth swat and My Love sternly reminded me, "Get back in position." During each one, My Love said things like, "So do you want punishments?" "This is what punishments feel like Little Miss." Then I was told to get up and put the implement away.
In addition to the spankings, today's maintenance includes a variety of assignments. Some of the assignments are one-time and others are regular.
- I am to blog each experience - maintenance or otherwise.
- Each week, I am supposed to edit/update our booklet that lists rules, implements, etc.
- All my "toys" go to the Rubbermaid tonight and I only use them with prior permission from here on out.
- I am to add implement commentary to the implement post whenever a new implement is used.
- A list of ideas for appropriate shaming is to be created. Luckily, I can decide when this is done.
- I need to clean off my craft desk, which is a daily assignment that My Love graciously waived last night because I arrived home at 9:30pm from a long meeting.
- I need to research laser hair removal for down there and begin that process. If it doesn't get in the way of the laser treatments, I am also supposed to make an appointment to get a Brazilian wax done professionally.
- I am expected to create a blog post on positions and my impressions/experiences of each position.
Holy Cow. I'm going to be a busy girl. Earlier today, we talked about the possibility of an assigned bedtime during the training period as well - I'm not sure if that is happening or not, so I'd better conclude this and begin the office work I have to do.
This Morning's Maintenance turned Punishment
Today's spanking was really affected by how sore my bottom already is from the other spankings I have received this week. That was especially true in my "sit spot."
I was put on his side of the bed with 4 pillows under my hips and my body kind of slid out of position during the spanking. Perhaps I should have been expected to maintain position (or at least return to it when I slid). By not expecting that of me, my husband kind of let me off easy (in this aspect only!).
The corner time afterward - and especially the lecture during corner time - was very effective. The punishments this week have included enough spanking and force to provide adequate punishment, but, like we talked about this morning, the whole experience needs some continual tweaking. I wonder, though, if punishment spankings should occur in "sessions," as in: spanking-corner time-spanking for one infraction and additional rounds of corner time-spanking for each other infraction. I certainly felt punished today, but not necessarily for BOTH infractions. The corner time really did make a difference and could have even been longer. The lecture during it helped me reflect on my infractions a great deal.
Also...and I may be venturing into the dangerous territory of trying to "spank from the bottom," but My Love did say it was ok to offer suggestions and that my feedback was expected...the backs of my thighs were not really punished and could have also been swatted. Then, when I ate breakfast and when we went to the appointment we had, you let me stand. Maybe I should have been expected to sit.
One of many posts for today...
My husband is most certainly the head of the household. Even though, we just recently re-started a DD lifestyle, he seems to have fully and completely adapted to his HoH role already (just four days into it). I'm so deeply thankful for that (except for during the actual, painful spankings!).
We had tried DD in 2002 and it really kind of leaned more toward the erotic side of the spectrum. We have pondered going back to DD since 2003 (when we moved and stopped and then never resumed). This week, we began again. I need to lose about 25 pounds and we're hoping DD will help with that. I will have a weekly weigh in that can result in spankings if I haven't lost at least a pound and also a weekly maintenance spanking in addition to punishments. I'm an executive that works outside the home and my husband is the stay at home parent. He is a gentle, kind, insightful and wonderful man. DD helps us balance our relationship given the reverse roles we live on a day to day basis.
Right now and for the next three weeks, I am in a training period which includes daily spankings and strict rules. We are finessing our rules and communicating really well. I've been amazed at how my love and admiration for my husband has begun to bubble up this week. It's wonderful (although the spankings themselves are not!).
Usually maintenance will be on Friday (a day off from work for me), but this week it is happening today because I have to work tomorrow. I haven't had maintenance yet, though, because I had a 20 minute punishment spanking instead for not being ready for the morning spanking on time and for being sneaky about something on Monday (I just fessed up to this today and boy am I sorry!). After the punishment, I was sent to the closet door and told to put my hands on the door and place my feet shoulder width apart. I think he left me there for about 5 minutes, during which time he continued to ask my why I had been punished. He also commented on how red my naughty behind was. During punishment, I was spanked with each implement in our collection, and I am expected to write an essay about the feel of each one prior to today's maintenance session. I am supposed to describe the feel, sensation, level/depth of pain, sting, etc. He said to me as he was spanking me this morning, "I know you are a really good writer so I expect a very solid essay."
I am also expected to update our "booklet" each time we do weekly maintenance. We created (well...I created and he edited) a booklet with rules, implements, suggestions, etc when we began earlier this week. I also need to research laser hair removal (and get it done asap) and turn in all my "toys" to him...from now on, I only play with permission.
We had tried DD in 2002 and it really kind of leaned more toward the erotic side of the spectrum. We have pondered going back to DD since 2003 (when we moved and stopped and then never resumed). This week, we began again. I need to lose about 25 pounds and we're hoping DD will help with that. I will have a weekly weigh in that can result in spankings if I haven't lost at least a pound and also a weekly maintenance spanking in addition to punishments. I'm an executive that works outside the home and my husband is the stay at home parent. He is a gentle, kind, insightful and wonderful man. DD helps us balance our relationship given the reverse roles we live on a day to day basis.
Right now and for the next three weeks, I am in a training period which includes daily spankings and strict rules. We are finessing our rules and communicating really well. I've been amazed at how my love and admiration for my husband has begun to bubble up this week. It's wonderful (although the spankings themselves are not!).
Usually maintenance will be on Friday (a day off from work for me), but this week it is happening today because I have to work tomorrow. I haven't had maintenance yet, though, because I had a 20 minute punishment spanking instead for not being ready for the morning spanking on time and for being sneaky about something on Monday (I just fessed up to this today and boy am I sorry!). After the punishment, I was sent to the closet door and told to put my hands on the door and place my feet shoulder width apart. I think he left me there for about 5 minutes, during which time he continued to ask my why I had been punished. He also commented on how red my naughty behind was. During punishment, I was spanked with each implement in our collection, and I am expected to write an essay about the feel of each one prior to today's maintenance session. I am supposed to describe the feel, sensation, level/depth of pain, sting, etc. He said to me as he was spanking me this morning, "I know you are a really good writer so I expect a very solid essay."
I am also expected to update our "booklet" each time we do weekly maintenance. We created (well...I created and he edited) a booklet with rules, implements, suggestions, etc when we began earlier this week. I also need to research laser hair removal (and get it done asap) and turn in all my "toys" to him...from now on, I only play with permission.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Owie, ow, ow
Well sure enough, I received a punishment spanking this morning. I was late yesterday and one of the rules is to be on time. I knew last night that this morning would bring punishment. That knowledge made it so hard to sleep!
Now it is Tuesday night and I am so tired. I hope to post more of an update about the punishment, but my eyes just won't stay open now. It was ten full minutes of hard hand spanking (so hard I actually thought he had been using the hairbrush!) and many, many swats with the paddle which stings worse than I would have ever imagined. Suffice it to say that my bottom has hurt all day and that I'll be sleeping on my stomach.
Tomorrow morning is day three of "boot camp," as My Love just called it. I'm sure tomorrow's spanking will not be as severe as today's spanking. Just the same, I'm not looking forward to it!
One quick question for anyone willing to share their insights: how are your punishment spankings "complete". As in, how do you know when it has been effective? My spanking hurt and has continued to remind me all day about my transgression. However, it just didn't feel adequate or complete when it ended. Is corner time the answer? A corner time break with another round of swats? Is there something else My Love could be doing to round out the experience so I feel more fully punished?
Now it is Tuesday night and I am so tired. I hope to post more of an update about the punishment, but my eyes just won't stay open now. It was ten full minutes of hard hand spanking (so hard I actually thought he had been using the hairbrush!) and many, many swats with the paddle which stings worse than I would have ever imagined. Suffice it to say that my bottom has hurt all day and that I'll be sleeping on my stomach.
Tomorrow morning is day three of "boot camp," as My Love just called it. I'm sure tomorrow's spanking will not be as severe as today's spanking. Just the same, I'm not looking forward to it!
One quick question for anyone willing to share their insights: how are your punishment spankings "complete". As in, how do you know when it has been effective? My spanking hurt and has continued to remind me all day about my transgression. However, it just didn't feel adequate or complete when it ended. Is corner time the answer? A corner time break with another round of swats? Is there something else My Love could be doing to round out the experience so I feel more fully punished?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Starting Up Again
My Love and I just resumed DD today. We tried it for awhile in 2002 and I honestly don't remember what caused us to stop. It might have stopped when we moved.
Anyway, we have pondered going back to DD off and on for the last 6 years. Our return was motivated by a few factors: (1) I need to lose weight for health reasons and have not really been successful in losing weight over the last two years, and (2) My Love, who prefers I call him that instead of "Sir," is actually the stay at home parent and I work outside the home as an executive - we need to rebalance our marriage relationship and DD helps with that.
This morning, I received 23 swats with a hairbrush and 3 with a paddle. The 23 were one for each pound I need to lose. The other three for a very small "maintenance". My Love requested that I count each swat, which became more and more of a challenge with each one. The last 3 with the paddle really, really stung and were a challenge for me. On the second one, I wilted a bit but quickly resumed position. I came near tears, which had never happened in 2002. I was then instructed to remain in position until told otherwise. I'm not sure how long I stayed that way, but I did as I was told. It felt like a long time, but I'm sure it didn't last as long as it felt like it did.
I was shocked by how thankful and humbled I felt afterwards. In a way, I was proud of my normally gentle, calm Love for assuming the role. He says it's a role he will have to grow into. I was also surprised by the renewed energy I had throughout the day and by how giddy-in-love I felt with him all day.
As I reflect on this morning's experience, I am hopeful My Love will not be lenient, because I know I will try to test the limits. I am deeply thankful he is willing to discipline me. I am a little ashamed that I need a spanking to help me do what is best for me, but it's a fact. Nothing else seems to motivate me, and I'm thankful My Love is willing to help me reach my goals.
We are using a "training period" for the first three weeks, and I am both hopeful and tentative about that. Over the weekend, we came up with possible ideas for a training period and we created the rules for our arrangement. I do not know which parts of the training period My Love will employ - he says I will know when I need to know. I'm thankful he is embracing authority like this.
Our rules are pretty simple and are based on things that I need to work on:
- be on time (I'm always late and have already broken this one today)
- do not lose keys, journal, cell phone, etc
- balance checkbooks by noon each Friday and keep bills current
- ask for permission before spending more than $20
- take medications daily by 9am
- keep bedroom and closet clean and organized
- work out at least 3 times a week for 30 or more minutes
- no questioning my husband's authority and my punishments
- always respect and obey my husband. No arguing or sass
- keep a journal for food eaten, meds taken, punishments received
We will have weigh in procedures each Monday that will result in spankings if I haven't lost at least a pound, and we also have maintenance spankings each Friday.
All of this may sound strange to someone not into Domestic Discipline. Years ago, it would have sounded strange to me too. However, I've learned that it is just part of who I am and what I need. If it doesn't work for you, that's ok. I respect that. If it does, c'mon over to the blog anytime and walk this journey with me.
Anyway, we have pondered going back to DD off and on for the last 6 years. Our return was motivated by a few factors: (1) I need to lose weight for health reasons and have not really been successful in losing weight over the last two years, and (2) My Love, who prefers I call him that instead of "Sir," is actually the stay at home parent and I work outside the home as an executive - we need to rebalance our marriage relationship and DD helps with that.
This morning, I received 23 swats with a hairbrush and 3 with a paddle. The 23 were one for each pound I need to lose. The other three for a very small "maintenance". My Love requested that I count each swat, which became more and more of a challenge with each one. The last 3 with the paddle really, really stung and were a challenge for me. On the second one, I wilted a bit but quickly resumed position. I came near tears, which had never happened in 2002. I was then instructed to remain in position until told otherwise. I'm not sure how long I stayed that way, but I did as I was told. It felt like a long time, but I'm sure it didn't last as long as it felt like it did.
I was shocked by how thankful and humbled I felt afterwards. In a way, I was proud of my normally gentle, calm Love for assuming the role. He says it's a role he will have to grow into. I was also surprised by the renewed energy I had throughout the day and by how giddy-in-love I felt with him all day.
As I reflect on this morning's experience, I am hopeful My Love will not be lenient, because I know I will try to test the limits. I am deeply thankful he is willing to discipline me. I am a little ashamed that I need a spanking to help me do what is best for me, but it's a fact. Nothing else seems to motivate me, and I'm thankful My Love is willing to help me reach my goals.
We are using a "training period" for the first three weeks, and I am both hopeful and tentative about that. Over the weekend, we came up with possible ideas for a training period and we created the rules for our arrangement. I do not know which parts of the training period My Love will employ - he says I will know when I need to know. I'm thankful he is embracing authority like this.
Our rules are pretty simple and are based on things that I need to work on:
- be on time (I'm always late and have already broken this one today)
- do not lose keys, journal, cell phone, etc
- balance checkbooks by noon each Friday and keep bills current
- ask for permission before spending more than $20
- take medications daily by 9am
- keep bedroom and closet clean and organized
- work out at least 3 times a week for 30 or more minutes
- no questioning my husband's authority and my punishments
- always respect and obey my husband. No arguing or sass
- keep a journal for food eaten, meds taken, punishments received
We will have weigh in procedures each Monday that will result in spankings if I haven't lost at least a pound, and we also have maintenance spankings each Friday.
All of this may sound strange to someone not into Domestic Discipline. Years ago, it would have sounded strange to me too. However, I've learned that it is just part of who I am and what I need. If it doesn't work for you, that's ok. I respect that. If it does, c'mon over to the blog anytime and walk this journey with me.
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