Monday was a back-to-the-routine day. This having to take days off just doesn't work for us, and Monday was just plain rotten, awkward, and hostile. Yuck.
There were a few times during the week last week that I probably got a little too sassy. Then there was Friday morning when He woke me up and requested I service him so to speak. I obliged while being pretty ticked internally. Friday was the first day I had been able to sleep in since the previous Saturday and, man, I love my sleep! Then after a few minutes, he told me to climb on top of him. I threw a bit of a fit and exclaimed, "Come on! Really?!". He replied, "Yes, really." And I said, "I don't think so. I haven't been able to sleep in for a week, it's 6 am and I have to get up early tomorrow. This is unreasonable." He asked me to roll over and we spooned instead, but I knew he was angry with me even though he didn't really say anything at the time. And I was pretty damn furious that I had been woken up. I had been in a work seminar all week, and the entire week had been incredibly emotionally and physically exhausting and intense. I was spent.
So, anyway, back to Monday...
He sent me upstairs Monday morning and I knew we were resuming DD and that I was going to be spanked. He had me go over his knee and it became obvious pretty quickly that it wasn't going well. I was a little....ummm....surly. I had real issues with the punishment he was planning and beginning to carry out and I was so angry. It seemed so unfair. I did not protest physically, though, and whenever he asked me a question, I dutifully answered but was clear that I thought it was unfair and/or that I felt like we should talk about it before the punishment happened. He finally decided we could talk about it but made me state my case while over his knee! That just ticked me off more.
After about ten minutes, we had a pretty good conversation and things relaxed. He saw my point and understood when I expressed that we had agreed to take last week off but then it seemed like some parts of our arrangement hadn't been put on hiatus. I was so befuddled. I had also asked him three times last week if we could clarify his expectations for the week, but we never had the conversation. I really was not trying to get out of a punishment - this was about being held to unclear standards. We finally talked everything out, but he expressed some exasperation and said, "I'm not sure I will ever do this lifestyle right." He was frustrated too - with himself, with me, with my behavior, but mostly with how we had messed up the week and the morning.
After a pretty tame training spanking, I eventually asked for the crop (my absolute least favorite implement!) because I felt like we both needed to give a little and that he had been a bit too willing to give in. It made a big difference especially for him and his mindset, I think. It hurt like hell.
This morning, I weighed in and I had lost a full pound. We were back to confusion - should I have lost two pounds since I hadn't weighed in last week or did weight loss not figure in last week either? He expressed that he really didn't know what to do. I asked if I could make a suggestion. He said that was fine. I suggested fifteen swats with the cane, which was half as many as I would have received if weight loss had been expected last week. He thought that was reasonable. I went over the ottoman and he swung the cane HARD! It was very adequate punishment. But near the end, the brand new cane split in two! It was the first time we had even used it. He finished off with it anyway and then I was expected to get ready for work.
My back end is pretty dang sore today!
Showing posts with label implements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label implements. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A Protective Cat, An Annoying Implement, and Other Thoughts
It's been awhile since I've posted. Until this morning, things have been pretty uneventful.
Most of last week ended up being non-spanking due to school cancellations for the kids. Friday was maintenance, but it was pretty half-hearted and non-eventful. I made it through all the snow days and the weekend without doing anything worthy of punishment...I guess I'm at least learning something. Monday of this week came along without anything exciting - I had to be at work early that day so training wasn't held.
Tuesday was weigh in day - down 1.4 lbs!!! That meant no spanking related to weight. However, I did receive a pretty extensive training spanking. At the beginning of my spanking, as I lay on the bed, my cat curled up atop my legs. I think she was trying to intervene! The dog has now learned that if I head to my closet door for corner time, he prefers to get lost and not stick around in the room to watch the events! Thank Goodness the cat at least sticks around and does what she can to help.
My Love mentioned that my sit spots looked a little bruised, which surprised me. Those would have to be pretty old bruises. Maybe, I hoped, it would tenderize his swats. No such luck. I'm not sure if it was because it's been awhile or because of the implements chosen or because of how He used them - regardless of the reason, it sure seemed like more than a training session to me. I didn't really "appreciate" that (more on that later). He used the dreaded riding crop - I'm not sure how to explain that tortuous device. At the time of use, it hurts like hell, stings, leaves welts, and smacks down hard (especially at the tip where there is a little piece of leather all flattened). All that stated, I'm not sure it is "effective." Beyond that, I'm struggling for words...the only way I can explain it is that it is annoying. As a comparison, the cane was effective. When we used one (before He broke ours inadvertently), it hurt, left welts, stung, got the point across, etc. But it was also effective. The crop...it's annoying. And, no, I'm not simply trying to get out of it being used. I'm really struggling with this whole thing.
Strangely enough, even with the annoying crop and all the wooden stingers used, I was surprised that the discomfort didn't stay with me throughout the day - at the time, the swats were certainly sufficient to cause a lingering effect. Once someone has been at this awhile, does the lingering lessen? It just doesn't make sense - the session itself was likely more severe than the previous ones that did have lingering effects. I don't get it.
Then this morning came. The day brought sunshine and a spanking. Yesterday, after training, He asked me put the box of implements away. I said I would as soon as I fed my fish (I'm pretty addicted to the iPad/iPod game Tapfish). He was ok with that at the time (or at least seemed to be), but then I forgot to put the box away. When I got home last night, the box was in my walk in closet but not where it is normally stored. I was pretty sure this morning would bring a warming surprise. I forgot one other time and I do know better, so this whole event just amps the ante on the annoyance factor. Yes, I know I need to do what I'm told. Yes, I know that not putting the box away could lead to the curious children finding it and asking about it. Yes, I f-ed up. Again. Grr. So this morning, out came the box and over the ottoman I went.
Here's what doesn't make sense, though. The session was pretty severe and hurt like hell. The stinging and pain bordered on more than I can bear. I absolutely could not stay in position or stay still due to the stinging and the pain. This most certainly wasn't a case of "not getting punished enough," yet at the end of it, I was more annoyed than penitent. Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself for doing something (or rather, not doing something) so stupid and easy. Maybe the honeymoon phase on our new lifestyle is wearing thin. I've found myself lately honestly wondering if this makes sense for us and for me. Our deal is that we will do DD until I reach my goal weight (about 17 lbs to go), but I really have a sense of ick toward the whole thing right now. It's not just because I was just punished - I've been wondering this for a few days.
Most of last week ended up being non-spanking due to school cancellations for the kids. Friday was maintenance, but it was pretty half-hearted and non-eventful. I made it through all the snow days and the weekend without doing anything worthy of punishment...I guess I'm at least learning something. Monday of this week came along without anything exciting - I had to be at work early that day so training wasn't held.
Tuesday was weigh in day - down 1.4 lbs!!! That meant no spanking related to weight. However, I did receive a pretty extensive training spanking. At the beginning of my spanking, as I lay on the bed, my cat curled up atop my legs. I think she was trying to intervene! The dog has now learned that if I head to my closet door for corner time, he prefers to get lost and not stick around in the room to watch the events! Thank Goodness the cat at least sticks around and does what she can to help.
My Love mentioned that my sit spots looked a little bruised, which surprised me. Those would have to be pretty old bruises. Maybe, I hoped, it would tenderize his swats. No such luck. I'm not sure if it was because it's been awhile or because of the implements chosen or because of how He used them - regardless of the reason, it sure seemed like more than a training session to me. I didn't really "appreciate" that (more on that later). He used the dreaded riding crop - I'm not sure how to explain that tortuous device. At the time of use, it hurts like hell, stings, leaves welts, and smacks down hard (especially at the tip where there is a little piece of leather all flattened). All that stated, I'm not sure it is "effective." Beyond that, I'm struggling for words...the only way I can explain it is that it is annoying. As a comparison, the cane was effective. When we used one (before He broke ours inadvertently), it hurt, left welts, stung, got the point across, etc. But it was also effective. The crop...it's annoying. And, no, I'm not simply trying to get out of it being used. I'm really struggling with this whole thing.
Strangely enough, even with the annoying crop and all the wooden stingers used, I was surprised that the discomfort didn't stay with me throughout the day - at the time, the swats were certainly sufficient to cause a lingering effect. Once someone has been at this awhile, does the lingering lessen? It just doesn't make sense - the session itself was likely more severe than the previous ones that did have lingering effects. I don't get it.
Then this morning came. The day brought sunshine and a spanking. Yesterday, after training, He asked me put the box of implements away. I said I would as soon as I fed my fish (I'm pretty addicted to the iPad/iPod game Tapfish). He was ok with that at the time (or at least seemed to be), but then I forgot to put the box away. When I got home last night, the box was in my walk in closet but not where it is normally stored. I was pretty sure this morning would bring a warming surprise. I forgot one other time and I do know better, so this whole event just amps the ante on the annoyance factor. Yes, I know I need to do what I'm told. Yes, I know that not putting the box away could lead to the curious children finding it and asking about it. Yes, I f-ed up. Again. Grr. So this morning, out came the box and over the ottoman I went.
Here's what doesn't make sense, though. The session was pretty severe and hurt like hell. The stinging and pain bordered on more than I can bear. I absolutely could not stay in position or stay still due to the stinging and the pain. This most certainly wasn't a case of "not getting punished enough," yet at the end of it, I was more annoyed than penitent. Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself for doing something (or rather, not doing something) so stupid and easy. Maybe the honeymoon phase on our new lifestyle is wearing thin. I've found myself lately honestly wondering if this makes sense for us and for me. Our deal is that we will do DD until I reach my goal weight (about 17 lbs to go), but I really have a sense of ick toward the whole thing right now. It's not just because I was just punished - I've been wondering this for a few days.
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Broken Cane is Something to Smile About!
Shortly after I wrote my last post, He came upstairs. I casually wandered into the other room to pet the cat - even though I knew there was no escaping spanking #3! He followed me into the other room a few minutes later and said, "C'mon. Get in there and pull down your pants."
Now I don't know why this is the case, but there is something especially humiliating about having to pull my pants down to my knees and get a spanking. It seems to affect me more emotionally than being naked for a spanking. So there I was, pants down to the knees with my already red bottom bared. He told me to lay over the ottoman and brace myself. I knew it was going to be bad - it was another spanking for not working out (one session for each of the two times I neglected to work out last week) and the last one had been pretty severe.
He started with a few uncounted minutes with the cane and lectured me about the opportunities I did indeed have to work out last week. He also mentioned that I would be expected to provide him with a copy of this week's schedule showing when I would schedule my FOUR workouts this week (I am usually expected to workout 3 times a week). The lecture continued with His commentary about how He did not appreciate me copping an attitude about "since I already knew I was going to get a spanking for not working out, I wasn't very motivated to work out on Sunday." I had said this to him earlier in the day (did I mention this in my last post? My bottom hurts too much for my mind to keep track of those kinds of details!). Then he commenced with 30 counted strokes with the cane for not working out. Afterward, I hugged him and thanked him as is expected.
But, we weren't done yet. Because I copped an attitude, I was put back over the ottoman and given 15 hard swats with the plank. OUCH! I most certainly feel sufficiently punished (and I'm on my way to the gym after I post this).
I was left in position for a few minutes, and He began to put the implements away during that time. I have to admit that as I lay there with my warm, sore bottom glowing, I smiled to myself when HoH went to put the cane away and accidentally snapped it in two! Goodbye nasty cane!
Now I don't know why this is the case, but there is something especially humiliating about having to pull my pants down to my knees and get a spanking. It seems to affect me more emotionally than being naked for a spanking. So there I was, pants down to the knees with my already red bottom bared. He told me to lay over the ottoman and brace myself. I knew it was going to be bad - it was another spanking for not working out (one session for each of the two times I neglected to work out last week) and the last one had been pretty severe.
He started with a few uncounted minutes with the cane and lectured me about the opportunities I did indeed have to work out last week. He also mentioned that I would be expected to provide him with a copy of this week's schedule showing when I would schedule my FOUR workouts this week (I am usually expected to workout 3 times a week). The lecture continued with His commentary about how He did not appreciate me copping an attitude about "since I already knew I was going to get a spanking for not working out, I wasn't very motivated to work out on Sunday." I had said this to him earlier in the day (did I mention this in my last post? My bottom hurts too much for my mind to keep track of those kinds of details!). Then he commenced with 30 counted strokes with the cane for not working out. Afterward, I hugged him and thanked him as is expected.
But, we weren't done yet. Because I copped an attitude, I was put back over the ottoman and given 15 hard swats with the plank. OUCH! I most certainly feel sufficiently punished (and I'm on my way to the gym after I post this).
I was left in position for a few minutes, and He began to put the implements away during that time. I have to admit that as I lay there with my warm, sore bottom glowing, I smiled to myself when HoH went to put the cane away and accidentally snapped it in two! Goodbye nasty cane!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
This Week's Punishments
I have been a naughty girl this week. Two days and two punishments. :(
On Monday, I weighed in and was thrilled to have lost over a pound. That kept me from getting a spanking due to my weight. However, I had been late getting some banking paperwork done on Saturday and had caused us to be late to the gym on Saturday. That ended up causing a sore bottom.
As we began, he started with his hand and a warm up. "Oh crap," I thought, "this probably means he's planning to spank for quite awhile." He hasn't done a warm up since 2003. I then got 20 swats with a paddle. I had to be honest when he asked me if I felt adequately punished...I didn't. BUT I didn't think that would mean receiving 50 counted swats with the brush! Ouchie.
On Tuesday, I was spanked for taking my meds late on Monday. How ironic, eh? I had been spanked on Monday for being late and then I was late again just minutes after the spanking. Argh. On Tuesday, he thought it would be a good idea to introduce the last of our implements, so I received 12 with a riding crop and 14 with a cane along with a number of swats with his hand. The plank has now been replaced as the worst item and the cane now reigns.
On Monday, I weighed in and was thrilled to have lost over a pound. That kept me from getting a spanking due to my weight. However, I had been late getting some banking paperwork done on Saturday and had caused us to be late to the gym on Saturday. That ended up causing a sore bottom.
As we began, he started with his hand and a warm up. "Oh crap," I thought, "this probably means he's planning to spank for quite awhile." He hasn't done a warm up since 2003. I then got 20 swats with a paddle. I had to be honest when he asked me if I felt adequately punished...I didn't. BUT I didn't think that would mean receiving 50 counted swats with the brush! Ouchie.
On Tuesday, I was spanked for taking my meds late on Monday. How ironic, eh? I had been spanked on Monday for being late and then I was late again just minutes after the spanking. Argh. On Tuesday, he thought it would be a good idea to introduce the last of our implements, so I received 12 with a riding crop and 14 with a cane along with a number of swats with his hand. The plank has now been replaced as the worst item and the cane now reigns.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Implements
My husband is so good about being a measured, intentional person. This morning, we talked before my maintenance spanking (which turned into a punishment spanking...) for about an hour. One of the topics that came up is that he is learning which implements are more punishment in nature and which are less severe. Once he determined that something I said to him in passing was actually something that needed to be punished, the maintenance session was postponed and I was spanked for about 20 minutes with his hand and with each of the implements currently in our box (the ones used for that event have a * next to them). My post-spanking assignment today is to write a reflection on each implement so he can begin to create a ranking system of sorts for his reference. Later today, I was given a maintenance spanking and told to continually update this post as new implements are tried (additions are embedded in the severity order and are noted with the date added). The descriptions below are listed in order of severity (and my preference!) with the most mild first.
Hand*
Today's first swats were with My Love's hand. The feeling of his hand can vary greatly depending upon the force used and the specific area spanked. I'd say it was about a 7 out of 10 in the moment today but the hand's swats do not necessarily stay with me for long. Sometimes a spanking with the hand ranges more in the 4-6 range. When my sit spot was spanked, it hurt a great deal. Part of why it hurt more there is that the spot is still tender from previous spankings I have received this week. Spankings given by the hand in a series of short, quick, less hard swats really have their own nearly-bring-me-to-tears affect while harder smacks delivered one at a time seem more like punishment. I am always thankful when My Love chooses to move his hand around my bottom and/or sides of my bottom rather than spank the same spot over and over (which is more intense and painful).
Gluestick*
When I saw this suggestion the CCDD website, I thought it sounded so silly. A gluestick? Really?! I found the longer (about 10" or 12") glue sticks at Michaels and brought them home thinking this would be a pretty harmless option that I would welcome. However, I now understand why it is used. It stings, stings, stings, STINGS like a dickens and it is VERY quiet. My husband mentioned today that it may be a good option for evening spankings, although I would be expected to not be as verbal or loud in reaction to it. I will really try if it comes to that, especially knowing that making noise if I've been told not to will only result in more severity one way or the other; however, it stings so much that the vocal reaction is non-voluntary. I would say that during a session, the gluestick is about an 8 but it most certainly does not stay with me. The sting fades and the pain is very surface level. I don't think it leaves marks for more than a few minutes either.
Board (added January 6 after maintenance spanking)
The board is a "brother" to the plank, but it is wider and shorter. It's sting was not as intense as the plank although the thud factor was pretty deep. It is kind of hard to rate it, because I encountered it about an hour or so after a long punishment spanking and immediately after and intermittently alongside a hand spanking for maintenance. My Love was not wielding it with the same intensity that he uses with the plank, so my rating may be affected by that too. I'm guessing it has the potential to bruise if used strongly enough. It's a 6 or 7 based on the experience I had with it today, but that might change if it is used more strongly...not that I'm requesting that! It was also very effective and nearly brought me to tears when My Love used it in a series of quick, repetitive swats.
Bat*
Why in the world did I think it was a good idea to pick up the mini bat at Hobby Lobby when I saw it yesterday?! The bat was also probably an 8 out of 10. It is longer and more narrow that the brush, so it strikes both cheeks at once and covers a larger area. It has a stronger thud factor than the brush and stings a bit less than the brush. Since we have only used it today and that use was combined with other implements, I do not know how long the swats with the bat stay with me.
Brush*
The hairbrush stings AND hurts. The impact penetrates more deeply. I would say this is the second more severe implement in our current collection (after the stick). The brush focuses usually on a concentrated area and also has a force to it that is a hard thud. This week, I have noticed that the swats with the brush stay with me for quite awhile - even up to 24 hours. During the spanking, the brush is probably an 8 out of 10. The hairbrush makes my bottom sore and I am reminded throughout the day that I have been spanked.
Plank*
I have determined that I HATE the plank. It is definitely a punishment implement and I'd give it a 9 or 10 out of 10. It is about 18" long and is basically a 1" thick, 1.5" wide piece of treated outdoor lumber. It really hurts deeply and stays with me the longest of any of the implements. It leaves marks that last 24-48 hours and the soreness remains even after the marks fade. While there are likely implements that could be worse, I really can't imagine anything worse than the plank.
Riding Crop (added 1-24-11)
Sir pointed out to me today that I have not yet written up a "review" on the crop. It HURTS! It almost always stings and its force is focused on a small area, because there is a 1.5" x 2"leather flap at the end of the crop. The crop is made of leather and is probably about 2-3 feet long and maybe 1/2 inch in diameter. Having never received a spanking with just the crop, it is hard to know what its own lasting impact is. My guess is that it is long-lasting.
Cane (added 1-24-11)
Sir pointed out today that the cane had not yet been listed as an implement. After a caning this afternoon, Sir was putting it away and accidentally snapped it in two. As the worst of all implements, I can't say I was particularly disappointed in this news. The cane was bamboo, about 1/2 inch in diameter, hollow, and VERY quiet. It packed quite the punishment, however. It's sting was like no other and it landed across both cheeks, leaving day-long (or even two day-long) raised welts. It was definitely a 10 out of 10. RIP Cane - I hope nothing ever replaces your impact.
Hand*
Today's first swats were with My Love's hand. The feeling of his hand can vary greatly depending upon the force used and the specific area spanked. I'd say it was about a 7 out of 10 in the moment today but the hand's swats do not necessarily stay with me for long. Sometimes a spanking with the hand ranges more in the 4-6 range. When my sit spot was spanked, it hurt a great deal. Part of why it hurt more there is that the spot is still tender from previous spankings I have received this week. Spankings given by the hand in a series of short, quick, less hard swats really have their own nearly-bring-me-to-tears affect while harder smacks delivered one at a time seem more like punishment. I am always thankful when My Love chooses to move his hand around my bottom and/or sides of my bottom rather than spank the same spot over and over (which is more intense and painful).
Gluestick*
When I saw this suggestion the CCDD website, I thought it sounded so silly. A gluestick? Really?! I found the longer (about 10" or 12") glue sticks at Michaels and brought them home thinking this would be a pretty harmless option that I would welcome. However, I now understand why it is used. It stings, stings, stings, STINGS like a dickens and it is VERY quiet. My husband mentioned today that it may be a good option for evening spankings, although I would be expected to not be as verbal or loud in reaction to it. I will really try if it comes to that, especially knowing that making noise if I've been told not to will only result in more severity one way or the other; however, it stings so much that the vocal reaction is non-voluntary. I would say that during a session, the gluestick is about an 8 but it most certainly does not stay with me. The sting fades and the pain is very surface level. I don't think it leaves marks for more than a few minutes either.
Belt (added 1/6 after maintenance, edited and moved 1/24) The belt is an interesting experience—it really depends which belt is used. I definitely feel punished and spanked by the belt. However, my own belt didn't really sting or have a hard and deep thud. I'd rate my own belt a 5 or 6 depending upon intensity and where on my bottom it lands. Somehow, the “easier” belt seems to be the one that brings me closest to tears (I have yet to fully cry from a spanking). My husband did not like the feel of my belt - it was too unwieldy for him. Our new belt, one of his, is harsher and more manageable for him. It is probably a 7 and it leaves marks. It stings more than mine did and hurts more too.
The board is a "brother" to the plank, but it is wider and shorter. It's sting was not as intense as the plank although the thud factor was pretty deep. It is kind of hard to rate it, because I encountered it about an hour or so after a long punishment spanking and immediately after and intermittently alongside a hand spanking for maintenance. My Love was not wielding it with the same intensity that he uses with the plank, so my rating may be affected by that too. I'm guessing it has the potential to bruise if used strongly enough. It's a 6 or 7 based on the experience I had with it today, but that might change if it is used more strongly...not that I'm requesting that! It was also very effective and nearly brought me to tears when My Love used it in a series of quick, repetitive swats.
Bat*
Why in the world did I think it was a good idea to pick up the mini bat at Hobby Lobby when I saw it yesterday?! The bat was also probably an 8 out of 10. It is longer and more narrow that the brush, so it strikes both cheeks at once and covers a larger area. It has a stronger thud factor than the brush and stings a bit less than the brush. Since we have only used it today and that use was combined with other implements, I do not know how long the swats with the bat stay with me.
Brush*
The hairbrush stings AND hurts. The impact penetrates more deeply. I would say this is the second more severe implement in our current collection (after the stick). The brush focuses usually on a concentrated area and also has a force to it that is a hard thud. This week, I have noticed that the swats with the brush stay with me for quite awhile - even up to 24 hours. During the spanking, the brush is probably an 8 out of 10. The hairbrush makes my bottom sore and I am reminded throughout the day that I have been spanked.
Plank*
I have determined that I HATE the plank. It is definitely a punishment implement and I'd give it a 9 or 10 out of 10. It is about 18" long and is basically a 1" thick, 1.5" wide piece of treated outdoor lumber. It really hurts deeply and stays with me the longest of any of the implements. It leaves marks that last 24-48 hours and the soreness remains even after the marks fade. While there are likely implements that could be worse, I really can't imagine anything worse than the plank.
Riding Crop (added 1-24-11)
Sir pointed out to me today that I have not yet written up a "review" on the crop. It HURTS! It almost always stings and its force is focused on a small area, because there is a 1.5" x 2"leather flap at the end of the crop. The crop is made of leather and is probably about 2-3 feet long and maybe 1/2 inch in diameter. Having never received a spanking with just the crop, it is hard to know what its own lasting impact is. My guess is that it is long-lasting.
Cane (added 1-24-11)
Sir pointed out today that the cane had not yet been listed as an implement. After a caning this afternoon, Sir was putting it away and accidentally snapped it in two. As the worst of all implements, I can't say I was particularly disappointed in this news. The cane was bamboo, about 1/2 inch in diameter, hollow, and VERY quiet. It packed quite the punishment, however. It's sting was like no other and it landed across both cheeks, leaving day-long (or even two day-long) raised welts. It was definitely a 10 out of 10. RIP Cane - I hope nothing ever replaces your impact.
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