Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A caning and the crop

Monday was a back-to-the-routine day. This having to take days off just doesn't work for us, and Monday was just plain rotten, awkward, and hostile. Yuck.

There were a few times during the week last week that I probably got a little too sassy. Then there was Friday morning when He woke me up and requested I service him so to speak. I obliged while being pretty ticked internally. Friday was the first day I had been able to sleep in since the previous Saturday and, man, I love my sleep! Then after a few minutes, he told me to climb on top of him. I threw a bit of a fit and exclaimed, "Come on! Really?!". He replied, "Yes, really." And I said, "I don't think so. I haven't been able to sleep in for a week, it's 6 am and I have to get up early tomorrow. This is unreasonable." He asked me to roll over and we spooned instead, but I knew he was angry with me even though he didn't really say anything at the time. And I was pretty damn furious that I had been woken up. I had been in a work seminar all week, and the entire week had been incredibly emotionally and physically exhausting and intense. I was spent.

So, anyway, back to Monday...

He sent me upstairs Monday morning and I knew we were resuming DD and that I was going to be spanked. He had me go over his knee and it became obvious pretty quickly that it wasn't going well. I was a little....ummm....surly. I had real issues with the punishment he was planning and beginning to carry out and I was so angry. It seemed so unfair. I did not protest physically, though, and whenever he asked me a question, I dutifully answered but was clear that I thought it was unfair and/or that I felt like we should talk about it before the punishment happened. He finally decided we could talk about it but made me state my case while over his knee! That just ticked me off more.

After about ten minutes, we had a pretty good conversation and things relaxed. He saw my point and understood when I expressed that we had agreed to take last week off but then it seemed like some parts of our arrangement hadn't been put on hiatus. I was so befuddled. I had also asked him three times last week if we could clarify his expectations for the week, but we never had the conversation. I really was not trying to get out of a punishment - this was about being held to unclear standards. We finally talked everything out, but he expressed some exasperation and said, "I'm not sure I will ever do this lifestyle right." He was frustrated too - with himself, with me, with my behavior, but mostly with how we had messed up the week and the morning.

After a pretty tame training spanking, I eventually asked for the crop (my absolute least favorite implement!) because I felt like we both needed to give a little and that he had been a bit too willing to give in. It made a big difference especially for him and his mindset, I think. It hurt like hell.

This morning, I weighed in and I had lost a full pound. We were back to confusion - should I have lost two pounds since I hadn't weighed in last week or did weight loss not figure in last week either? He expressed that he really didn't know what to do. I asked if I could make a suggestion. He said that was fine. I suggested fifteen swats with the cane, which was half as many as I would have received if weight loss had been expected last week. He thought that was reasonable. I went over the ottoman and he swung the cane HARD! It was very adequate punishment. But near the end, the brand new cane split in two! It was the first time we had even used it. He finished off with it anyway and then I was expected to get ready for work.

My back end is pretty dang sore today!


  1. I was very excited to find your blog. Your backgrounds and roles in the public realm versus your roles in the home are almost identical to ours. The only difference is that my husband works with me at the business that I own. Technically at work I'm his boss. I try to treat him more like my business partner, but sometimes I have to have the final word. We started DD at my request a couple of weeks ago, because like you I needed the relief of not being the one in charge all of the time. I needed the opportunity to be submissive and the feeling of femininity that it creates. We think it is going pretty well thus far. It is hard for my husband to mentally shift to being the authoritative one at home, but he is trying. I'm curious, which one of you initiated the DD lifestyle? Did your husband struggle with taking on the role?

  2. I have often felt discipline was unjust if expectations are unclear, and this has pushed us to communicate better. He writes my rules down because then he can show me where I went wrong, and I can accept it and submit to the spanking better. You were so brave to ask for the crop, btw.